she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
