I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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