No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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