Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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