I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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