Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
