I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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