listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
