Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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