So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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