a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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