We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
