Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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