OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and she was petting her beer can
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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