Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
