I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
