Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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