hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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