Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
