i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
