I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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