So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
