I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
honey bunches of taint.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we're so committed to being not committed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
