i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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