did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
