eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
