Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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