And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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