The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
