I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
