i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize