Already got asked if we're dating
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
