So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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