Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
