I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
