ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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