A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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