I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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