im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
