We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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