can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
