let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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