Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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