We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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