He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
