Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize