is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
