Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
