I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
