If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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