You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
