ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
