But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
