Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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