Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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