If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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