Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am available for nakedness
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
