what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I want is dick and wine.
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