Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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