Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
