In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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