he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
