Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My vagina is officially offended.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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