The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
